kato age two

The Sand(er)Man Cometh

Our humans have hired 2 sanders. We doglets are not invited to this immense DIY-Fest. Hollywood stars have their hands imprinted in wet concrete. We did not mention anything about leaving paw prints in drying varnish. We never get the benefit of even the most miniscule doubts.

Humans are wearing their oldest, scruffiest clothes.......so look no different from their usual unfashionable selves.

They seem to have forgotten about our Annual Bath, too busy fretting that the new fish had finned off. Eddie and Issac disappeared shortly after moving into Pondville. Had Norbert eaten them? Had the Cat Infidels got lucky? No, all is well. They are happily playing Slippy Fish.
Hi, Norbert here,

Isaac and Eddie, or, the intruders as they were know, have been held down below for a couple of weeks while undergoing interrogation. Had to throw up the 'green screen'...


so there are 'no witnesses'.

Found some information about pond security. Apparently Saddam has escaped from custody and Bin Laden was found working in a chip shop in Wigan. How exactly this relates to pond security (regular floating food pellets and counting how many pads the water lily has), I was unable to ascertain due to the following...

During a break from questioning the illegals while traveling top side, I ran into Ekbom. "Wotcha Norby" he said, "I've got something you ought to look at, you're not going to like it though".

As he was about to hand me the paper, there came a noise from below. Slowly it got louder and you could just make out the word, "Ekybum".

"Ekybum, Ekybum... Ekybum". "Wish Eddie didn't keep calling me that", said Ekbom.

"Eddie?" I asked, twitching a fin in a quizzical manner (is this getting a bit too flowery?). "Who's Eddie?".

"Eddie and Isaac, the new fish", he said. "They say they're being held captive by some fat old fool fish with too small a white bit on the dorsel fin to get a girlfriend".

"Can't think who they mean", I said. "But I did chase a herring out of here yesterday who was acting a bit shifty". "What about this note you have for me anyway".

"Oh yeah", said Ekbom. "I was next door baiting a cat, getting him to come and lick me, when 'he' pops up, as if from nowhere".

"OY! Leave that frog alone", he shouts.

"Jumping out my skin, I looked around, and thought, he's talking to the cat". "I stopped, and realizing the seriousness of the situation, pushed the cat away, ran up to 'him' and boshed him in the shin with both legs. I'm a feckin toad, not a frog, I shouted at him. Didn't see what happened to him afer that. I found myself back where I had been with the cat. I noticed a small sheet of paper that must have fallen from the cat's fur during the commotion".

I had my doubts about his story. Toads are know for exaggerating, but he said that he had the proof. He handed it to me.



Pea soup.
Floating crunchy escargot (live snails).
Drowning flies.

Main course:

Fish, if you can find it, in a fine, dark pea soup.
Side salad of floating leaves, green slime and beetles.
Tadpole surprise. (Tadpoles in pea soup) -- OFF, can't find the tadpoles.


Lashings of mosquito larvae, served in pea soup.
Optional green custard (well, pea soup actually).
Petal special (all surrounding flowers collected together and served in pea soup).

Wine list:
Chateau Triffid 2004 (pea soup)
Stones original pea wine. (See above)
House wine, nice but might have a slight green tint.

Luckily, I've been ablt to lift the green screen.


The intruders have turned out to be nothing but teenagers, learning about pond life. Prone to the odd bit of criminal behavior though; nicking floating food stick, which, are by right, mine.