I’m afflicted so Kato Walks have been contracted out to freelancers. Frodi likes a walk but can survive without but Kato gets terrible cabin fever.
Yesterday, I ventured outside for a potter round the garden. A massive sun parasol brolly thing had fallen over our side of the wall from the church next door and was resting on its side. Kato gave the new thing in the garden a wide berth. Frodi was on his wee-round, raspberry bushes, cherry tree stump, brick thing, the place where half a dead pigeon was once found, any dandelions that give him side-eye.
Frodi was running his nose along the fallen Massive Parasol, “Haha” I said “Looks like Jodrell Bank down the garden Frodi...FRODI...oh fook”
I realised Frodi’s interest was not for Space Observation
“OMG” I lettered
I was running, well walking, as fast as a woman just two weeks out of surgery could muster. Frodi lifted his back left, I was calling out “Nooooooooo”. The world had gone into slow motion. This is probably in the ten commandments, in the small print of number nine, the one about neighbours that no one ever remembers, thou shalt not urinate on the Lord's UV Patio Umbrella.
Frodi hesitated but was just calculating his angle of delivery, I mustered harder, I wasn’t going to make it....so I threw the nearest thing to hand which was a deflated football. It missed Frodi but bounced off the parasol and hit Kato, luckily this distracted Frodi who lowered his leg.