kato me

Kato Walk - The Feds

The Feds were clip-boarded up doing house-to-house enquiries. A Fed spotted me and gave me a cheery wave.

“Shit” I muttered knowing Kato’s attitude to strangers “Just be nice”

“Can I go off lead?” asked Kato spotting a window of opportunity

“No, because you’ll go in someone’s garage again and embarrass me. Just don’t growl and stuff”


“The telepathic sock puppet thing – don’t do that” I muttered “Hello officer”

“Are you local?” he asked

“No, guilty, I mean yes” I stammered, acutely conscious of the psychic Kato mind melding and projecting League of Gentleman images. I was a Local Dog Walker for Local...

“Is he friendly?” asked the police officer

“Yes, I mean not really, well strangers, no”

Kato put her back left paw on top of her head so she could wash her Mary. Not being as spritely as she once was she toppled over.

The PC said they were in the area making the community aware of home security. Kato sat up to go through her object identification index. Kato was rummaging in the part of her brain marked “Chewables” and comparing him to a honking mallard she once owned. Kato inhaled the Police Mans shoe. I tugged her lead.

“Bacon” said Kato but luckily it just sounded like a low growl. I gave her a gentle kick. Kato grumbled something that sounded like "Animal Welfare Act 2006"
"Good guarder" said the PC, gave me a leaflet and said something about anything suspicious.
Kato was bored of identifying and was now doing a retching cough.

“She’s been on the grass” I explained and immediately blushed wondering if the PC might think I meant illegal grass type substance and stupidly added “Field grass”