kato age two

Cat Testing Episode 2

Frodi could hear the mewing as we approached the vets. His paws began to feel like lead.

“Oh good” said Human “Sounds like a lot of cats are in”

The mews began to form words “Frodi...Frodi-no-nuts.....

Human pushed the door open slowly to a waiting room full of cat carriers and boxes. The squeaky music from Psycho began to play in Frodi’s head

“Hi” said human “Would anyone mind if Frodi had a glance in a cat carrier, we would really like to get a cat but want to see how he would get on”

“Yow bring him here Bab, our Samson lives with 6 dogs” said a burly bloke with a tiny little cat in a basket carrier

“Don’t meet their eyes” Frodi repeated to himself “Stay calm, you can do this, think sheep...wtf are sheep...not sheep.... no eye contact.....feels hot in here...damn no sweat glands...don’t meet it’s eyes”


Returning home, even the usually insensitive Kato knew not to ask. Frodi went to his basket to reflect. Frodi fell asleep but was taunted in his dreams by a feline Punch & Judy show “Frodi....Frodi-no-nuts..” The show was broken up by advert breaks for Dysons, Milk Floats and Fly-Mo’s.

“Not the food processor!” Frodi yelped as he awoke “Oh Katrina, it’s you...”

"Wanna talk about it?" Kato asked

"Failed – they told me to peep in the cat carrier, I smiled a big toothy smile. Cat turned into some sort of demonic spitting entity. I reflexively went for my pistol and that was it really, automatic fail. Didn’t even get to the practical"

"But there is good news – apparently we’re not getting a cat – she’s un-favouriting all those cat rescue websites she’s been looking at for weeks"

"Brilliant"  said Kato"Let's go down the pond and tell Rat the news"