kato eye

Cat Testing Episode 1

“Katrina” Frodi asked Kato over breakfast “Have you ever been cat tested?”

“Yeah” said Kato, “like so ages ago”

“Did you pass?”

“Do you even need to ask that question?” Kato snapped but with the same expression as toast-theft denial expression.

“Did you revise?”

Not really, just looked at the internet the night before, human does the written test anyway...but the psychometric test is...a challenge”


“Cat examiners can be intimidating, relentlessly mewing questions at you from all sides”.

Frodi’s ears went down at Kato’s sinister tone

“The preliminary psychological test is just in the vets waiting room. But don’t be fooled – it’s part of the strategy”

Frodi’s ears twitched as Kato continued

“Whatever Cat says to you, just be really neutral, indifferent. No matter what they throw at you. Don’t meet the cat’s eyes. Cat will have researched your history and bring up all sorts of sensitive psychological matters, your phobias, stick addictions, stuff you don’t want to remember.... “

Frodi swallowed as Kato went on,

“How your Mother gave you up, how your first owner considered the brick/sack/river thing, thunder, fireworks, hoovers, lawn-mowers, milk floats, wheelie bins... every phobia... vets, strangers, the man who comes to read the meter, postmen, sudden noises, noises that are not sudden but would be scary if they were....think you might be screwed to be honest”

Frodi looked pale and his ears were now completely flat to his head.

See episode 2. This was last year when we did seriously consider whether we should get some cats to deter the rat living in our garden.

So we will remain cat-less.