Barking – My names Frody and I am...... a barkaholic. There, I’ve barked it loudly, and that’s apparently half way to solving the problem. Dogs running up/down stairs being favourite time to let rip a high pitched, relentless tirade of barking-ness.
The humans have developed some sort of Yogic Zen type approach – I am hypnotised with a treat and told to Sit Stay.
“Look into the biscuit, all around the biscuit annnnnd....... under” Did interpret the word Under as Bark Unremittingly on the first few times.Other dogs soon got mesmerised too and no one went up or down stairs leading to a one treat – three dog situation.
Cars - very exciting, stand entire journey making racket but randomly throw self at window just to make sure driver not asleep. Can do Wolves to Chester (return) without taking a breath. Wolves to North Wales – bring it on
Grumbling – grumble when any dog that isn’t me gets a stroke. (Well, not Kato cos she lamps me one). Humans have decided it’s not aggressive, just poor communication and accused me of being a bit of a Penny.
Java – cold, indifferent, ice queen who has me on permanent ignore. Bark in her face – nothing. Block her route - walks round me or does U-turn. Cosy up on Sofa and coo sweet nothings – not a flicker, just snores. Started to think I was invisible and not showing up on Javadar – pinched biscuit from under her snooter - got steely glare. Result. I knew she fancied me.
Stairs – in attempt to desensitise me to the stairs thing – human does 2 x 10 minute sessions of play on stairs per day. Brilliant fun – human throws squeaker down stairs and then we doglets watch while she retrieves it muttering “Right, I’ll get it meself and shall I just bark at the postman and chew the skirting boards while I’m at it”
Vacumn Cleaner – gave in to homicidal urge today and attacked hoover. It’s been on the cards for some time. Previous owners didn’t hoover as house full of Victorian lace, dried flowers and delicate porcelain trinkets. Human disappointed at break down in relationship with Hoover. Going to "de-sensitise me" – can’t wait to see human chucking it down the stairs and then retrieving it.
Cannock Chase – now the weathers picked up – it was teaming with runners, walkers, dogs, horses, quad bikes and bicycles, now I understand why it’s called Cannock Chase. So much to chase!! Am “mental psycho on a lead” so humans prefer an off lead place that they can back car in – release me from the tin dragon and then put lead on when I’ve used up my beans.