Baskets. I am genetically programmed to prefer the hardest, draughtiest floor to sleep on. I’m a collie - even sleep should be work. Noticed my mat edging towards the blue thing each night and two nights ago my mat was mysteriously in the blue thing. I scowled at it but then found it was quite comfy. This could lose me collie points.
When pensioners attack. Playing Snow Slippy with Wife (1) when I collided with That Abe and sent her flying. The grumpy geriatric bitch cursed me bad - I tutted and got a punch on the snooter followed by a very sound hand-bagging. So, in the interests of canine world peace I stepped back and stood motionless on three legs for ten minutes. Human was pleased with this lack of aggression on my part. Usually Wife steps in when theres any squabbles but when That Abe turned into minature frothing mental psycho – Kato was suddenly nowhere to be seen. I am starting to wonder who is actually in charge here.
The Wifes Health - Humans have found a painless but noteworthy lump on Wife, where her spine meets her neck. I am accused of giving her an icky. Hopefully, it’s just a lump from all the antibiotic injections from when she had infection of her front bottom. (For which I was also accused of having dirty paws)
Barking – I do bark when I get confused or excited. I also go deaf so humans have purchased a whistle to try and interrupt me. Whistles are both confusing and exciting.
(1) I do appear to have got married. Kato wants to play Slippy, I have to drop everything or get sulked at, and play Slippy Right Now no matter how squeaky my toy is or imperative my snooze is. *I* want to play Slippy, she’s doing her hair or talking to her mates.