Fireworks - cheers humans, love you too!

Usual transmission hijacked by human for a BOAR(1)  and we doglets are too distressed and incontinent for LJing. Please remember I am an ordnairy polite, suburban, middle aged lady who likes gardening, cooking, Radio 4 and reading(2). just to further highlight how fkin incensed I am.

 little_nothing  has a fabulous rant about fireworks on her LJ, mine is restrained and polite in comparison. Though I may be accompanying her to shoving fireworks up japs eyes if my current upset levels do not subside.

I will never, ever see the point in fireworks. Just more media hyped shite that people sheep along to. Its in the shops, its in the papers, we must buy it, we must be slaves to it. Fkin BaaBaa thought control. Oh, but its pretty.........go take some acid and watch some fractals on your PCs, stop upsetting my dog.  But its's burning people at the stake, but we grew/evolved out of it. Its my religion.......its a festival of light - get yourself some fairy lights and a flickering torch. Its only for one day - no, your part of an elongated sheeplike thing, its not just you,  it goes on for several days and my dogs distress goes on longer.  Wheres the upset my dog, thats the fskin harm, you upset many other dogs/cats and there was no need, you weren't even going to eat them, I would be less pissed off if you killed and ate my dog (3)

 And I don't agree with organised displays unless they are twenty zillion miles away from my house and my dogs, and anyone elses dogs for that matter.  So go have your organised displays at sea. If anyone who loved animals could just see kAt0 so upset, seriously spooked, shitting herself (literally) her tail right under, shivering and cowering........well........

Abe and Java are doing OK - perhaps down to their older years. Java has had a ten mile run, a swim, socialising with three other dogs and a lonnnng sesh in the pub with her Personal Dogsitter and is too tired to be afraid. Abe is doing very well, except on the really groundshaking explosions or long fizzing ones. She shoots out to the loo, does her business and shoots back in.  Even trying to entice kAt0 outside with the indifferent(ish) Abe and ourselves hasn't worked. kAt0 ended up having a poo-incident indoors and this has upset her even more. 

And before any behaviourists  write in - kAt0 was socialised to gold standard perfection - but fireworks are in an unpredictable class of their own when it comes to spooking dogs. She was handled muchly by many as a puppy but she still doesn't like randomness.

(1) BOAR - BIt Of A Rant (tm) rainbowskye
(2) I so am!
(3) Tho I would still kill you, hunt you down and dissect you, slowly, with a rusty, blunt razor blade.

And so, to bed. 

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As the owner of a small baby, I would wholeheartledly endorse any dissection practices. I actually like fireworks, but when I set them off, I set them off on the common fck-miles from anyone else.
Gosh yes, I hadn't even thought about the impact on baby ears of some of the racket we are enduring.
go take some acid and watch some fractals on your PC...

That did make me laugh.

I too don't understand the idea behind fireworks. To be honest I could think of better things doing like chewing my own foot. For example, my X; Yin, and I went to Pipe Hyes fire work display some years ago (her idea - I was just keeping the peace), I hated it. Why on earth would I want to hang about in the cold with over 2000 tracksuit wearing peasents worrying about the contents of my pockets and where to park, all whilst having to listen to the shite that BRMB were kicking out. Where is the attraction in that!

On the other hand, in the countryside down my local, with a jacket potato or hot dog provided by people I know and a dry stump to sit beside a fire is my idea of heaven. That's what it was like when I was a kid.
Your description of the ideal fireworks night vs what ACTUALLY happens = perfect!

(and *boom* off goes the fireworks & *woowooWWOOOWORRAWORRAWORRA!* off goes Presley. I'm sure they can't even SEE the fireworks in this fog tonight!!)
I have never quite understood why people enjoy hanging about with a group of strangers. I hate standing in a post office queue let alone going to a large city suburb fireworks display.

Chips (my Jackie) used to climb onto the kitchen table and bark at the ceiling.
When you put it like that, it sounds quite appealing, sitting round a bonfire with a nice pint of summat and jack-pot.

Its the big explosions and endless screeching of the fireworks that makes me blood boil (and kAt0's bowels empty!)
See, that's where I think there's some space for compromise, because I like fireworks, and I also like dogs, and I reckon that you could make quiet fireworks which were still pretty.

That way - everyone wins?
Spose so - we have one of those bins for burning stuff in and thats fairly interesting, even if we do get singe tails and snooters.

We need virtual fireworks projected onto immense screens. Heh! Theres me on Dragons Den now with my new conceptual invention.
With the overwhleming supply of firewood from the Woods at the back of my parent's house we used to make a massive bonfire and invite some of the neighbours. We never really had fireworks unless either one of my brothers asked for them. Driving back to Birmingham from my parent's on Saturday the sky above Knowle was lit up with fireworks, they looked so beautiful. But I've never really enjoyed the noise; as a very young child I used to complain when people had the TV on, even now I moan if someone's playing a radio.