(no subject)

The dogs have been allowed a rare but heavily edited meme - 

1. Your name spelled backwards?

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
The Forbidden Table of Humanly Delights

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
Kato often dives in t’pond
Java (reckons she was pushed) in a canal

7. How many kids do you want?
Eight, each, per year, – instincts see, but humans have tinkered with our puppy making devices

10. Does someone have a crush on you?
Four sassy bitches – how could they not?

11. Ever made a prank phone call?
Possibly – Abes ass on the redial button

13. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
One word - Kato!

14. What are you wearing right now?
tatty collars – keep our best bling for spesh occaisions

15. Do you have a garden?
Our kingdom which must be defended against the Squirrel Infidels, Feline Insurgency and he who shall not be named, P-O-S-T-Y

17. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Your all expecting something cute like – How Much is That Doggy in the window but Lindsay reckons its

Generals gathered in their masses,just like witches at black masses.
Evil minds that plot destruction,sorcerers of death's construction.
In the fields the bodies burning,as the war machine keeps turning.
Death and hatred to mankind,poisoning their brainwashed minds.Oh lord, yeah! 

18. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Neither – never –  if we have to be submerged - it has to be putrid, dank and full of mud & dead stuff for our sensitive skin

27. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with?
Each other – though in a non-eye contacting way as that can cause diplomatic incidents. The d-word causes a crazed stampede..........instincts again

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Last year we had trillions – humans are going for hanging basket defence this year – Tsk! – how hard can a ladder be

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Kato got a certificate for dropping off to sleep to the command of “Down-Stay” 

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
We can vacate a room of humans in seconds with our impressive pharps

34. Do the Chinese really use cats in their food?
Wheres China again?

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
Kato had to wear a check chain to school but not an embaressing snooter box

38. Ever thrown up in public?
Indeed – nowt as refreshing as a noisy grass fuelled clear out. We take it in turns and hold up score cards for colour, projection and originality

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Kato’s a bit loose innit -  Lindsay has an eye for a young pup,preferably under the age of 1, doity old mare. Abe is cautious in her relationships and Java's The Gay and very secretive about it.

41. Think fast, who do you hate right now?

44. Last time you laughed?
Watching the senile old dudess trying to find the back door – and your all thinking we mean Lindsay………..

47. Who is the second to last person to call you?
Our recall is pretty good – so we usually go to the first person who calls us – give or take a biscuit

48. Is there anything going on this weekend?
Java’s going to Shropshire with her Staff Association

49. How are you feeling right now? 
Happiness is a warm, full dog.

50. What do you think about most? 
Zen Dogist Tao, World Peace, of Being and not Being, the sound of one paw clapping and biscuits 

In relation to question thirty three...never..and I mean never...give your dogs Purple Sprouting Broccoli......
Or any other brassica. Especially not swede. Not even a lick of swede. Don't even let them smell swede.