snooter

Feline Tendancies?

Kato has just proudly presented human with a very large and very dead pigeon(1)  Any chance of a few chips with this?  This was met with lots of high pitched screaming. Kato did an excellent "Leave It". But this command does not compute in Abes head, and she snuck in, grabbed it and ran off in a cloud of feathers. In comparison to Abe the pigeon was huge, a trail of flies chasing after Abe and their feathery home.. Luckily she responded to "Abe, you'll burn in hell and come back as a Jamie Oliver (2) if you don't drop it right now Lady!" Our human tearing after Abe, with no care for the windfallen apples and pears, and dog poo beneath her feet.

(1) The clumsy lummox Kato couldn't possibly have caught this. Though it does look like one of the two almost-too-fat-to-fly that regularly torment the Sweetness from the safety of the pear tree.
(2) When does it blur into pathological - this hatred of the Oliver chef, in fact of most celebrity chefs. An innocent trip to Sainsburys had our human rooted to the spot when confronted with the book stand - row upon row of celebrity chefs and other of Satans agents, Trinny and WosserFace, the You Are What You Eat monster etc
Well it bled a lot and I rang the vet, but the vet said Squirrels dont carry anything dogs can catch and as long as the bleeding had stopped, which it had, there was no need to worry....
We can't use the local park because of its over-infestation of squirrels. Tortures poor Java.
I cants stand that little Nazi Hag off You are what you eat.....what the hell does she eat to make her so sour???
She's the one that bought her 'PhD'. Oh I love Bad Science. And she obviously ate really horrid crap, no-one who ate scrummy food could be such a goblin....from one who eats lots of great food so must be lovely........
She is a shriveled little toad...but I do note she touts Miso Soup which is full of MSG (at least the box I looked at in Waitrose was) and not a bit healthy just low cal....
Ah but it's 'natural' MSG, so it's ok.....just like natural digitalis or the natural alkaloids in green potatoes.
I have her book - but all the recipes seem to be for fruity diarhoea - bet it comes out faster than it goes in.

But that Jamie Oliver.........he licks his spoon and then stirs his guts&pasta recipes, he is smug and he is the embodiment of evil......